Sunday, April 21, 2013

BB, CC, What What??

I'm sure I'm not the only one out there in the beauty world wondering what the crap all these BB and CC creams are. Just in the last few weeks I've been noticing them popping up in stores and in ads, but the first time I really heard of them was through my Birchbox. I have yet to get one, but it piqued my curiosity to figure out what they were exactly.

Last night I was at Target and I picked up the new Elle magazine and while flipping through it I literally counted 5 full page ads just talking about these creams specifically. Their descriptions always lead me to feel quite confused at exactly what they were. Foundations, moisturizers, tinted creams? Well, I've done my research and I'm here to tell you what they are, and what the difference between "BB" and "CC" is!

BB Cream - "Beauty Balm"

BB cream is really where all this stuff started. Its been around for a very long time, but in the last year its gained popularity. It is a product which does the job of your moisturizer, primer, foundation, powder and SPF all in one. 

BB creams usually contain:
- Anti-aging components, including peptides and antioxidants like Vitamins A, E and C.
- Super moisturizers such as hyaluronic and glycerin.
- Ingredients like licorice and arbutin that even out skin tone.
- Light reflecting mica to give skin a luminous finish.
- Silicone based ingredients, such as dimethicone, which help smooth out the skin, acting like a foundation primer.

So all these fabulous things mixed into one product must be perfect a perfect product for everyone, right? I guess not. There are some down sides to a BB cream and it might not be for everyone. 

Downsides to a BB cream:
-You may have a hard time finding a color match. They are typically sold in just a few colors ranging from fair to medium-dark.
-Wont find acne fighting BB cream if it also contains SPF. The FDA wont allow acne fighting ingredients and SPF to be contained in a singular product.
- Tend to be thicker than a tinted moisturizer but wont provide as much coverage as a foundation.

CC Cream - "Color Correcting"

Now the questions is, what the heck is the difference between a BB cream and a CC cream? At first I thought it was just clever marketing to sell you something that seemed more up and coming than the BB, but after reading up on it, there is actually a difference, albeit a small one. 

CC creams usually contain all the same elements of a BB cream, but takes it to the next level. This primes, protects, moisturizes, controls oil, neutralizes and brightens skin, fades dark spots and sun spots, and diminished post acne marks instantly and over time.

A BB cream is preventative (anti-aging and treats breakouts) while a CC cream is corrective (focuses on existing issues). CC usually contains more coverage than a BB. So like me, if you suffer from acne and need a little more color correction and coverage but dont want to go into a heavy foundation then its the CC cream for you!

In conclusion I think we could all benefit from one of these creams. Im a pretty simple gal when it comes to my make up regimen, but I think after doing all this research on BB and CC creams Ive come to realize Im probably doing it all wrong. Apparently you are supposed to apply all your beauty creams in a specific order. Here is what I read. Wash your face, add serum (huh?), then antioxidants (again, huh?), then hydrate, then lotion (whats the difference between hydrating and lotion?), then SPF, then foundation. These creams take the guess work out of your beauty regimen. Its the only product you need to apply after washing your face and you dont have to worry about which order to apply it to get the best results. 

A few other bonuses:
- The all in one cream will be less expensive over time.
- Faster and easier to apply than multiple products.
- Can still by layered with foundation and concealer to target trouble spots.
- Great option for someone who doesnt like wearing a lot of makeup but still likes simple coverage.

I will definitely be on the market to find which CC cream Ill be buying. Im all about easy application and I cant wait to try one and add it to my favorite list of products. Hope this helped you too!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Tackling another 15 pounds.

I havent been on the Weight Watchers plan since last October, but the last few weeks Ive been feeling like I need to do a re-fresher. When I mentioned this to my co-worker today she seemed surprised Id sign back up on the plan when Ive lost my weight and kept it off. She exclaimed, "Why would you do that?! You are so skinny now and have lost so much, you want to loose more?"

Here are my reasons:

Ive been regularly eating Its-It, on special occasions Ive even had two (thats a whopping 340 calories each)
My portions seem to be getting bigger and Ive been eating everything on my plate
Im not as strict when eating out and tend to eat more than I should be
Even when ordering a salad, I havent been cutting back on my dressing and unhealthier toppings
Ive been drinking more wine/beer than I would be if I was still on the plan

Now, that isnt to say that I haven been staying on track, because I feel like I have done really well at keeping my weight off. What seems to be my hang up is at night after work. Im too tired to put too much effort into choosing healthier options and frankly, the day was stressful and food makes me feel better. 

Heres another "truth" statement. Ive lost a total of 42 pounds to date, but I still want to loose more. I set my original goal at 150 pounds and Im 3 pounds away from that. I set that goal when I was 196 pounds and my goal seemed unattainable at the time. Now that Im only a few pounds away from that, I know I can loose more and I want to challenge myself to do that. 

So, back to Weight Watchers I go, to try an loose another 15 pounds. I feel weird saying I want to loose more weight because I think this time I want to do it not because Im over weight, but because I want to feel more confident about myself and be proud of my body. Yes, Ive lost enough, but I dont want it to just be "enough", I want to feel sexy and confident like I used to and not self conscious. Anyone can relate to this, right?

Im sure this 15 pounds is going to be harder to loose, probably almost more difficult than this 42 pounds, but Im determined and Im excited to see the skinny me in the mirror again. Here we go!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Remember that time we lost $100?

First I must say its been waaaaaaaaaaay too long since I've posted. I took a little hiatus, but now I'm back! Thanks for sticking around during my time of feeling very uninspired.

Any who. Tonight really sucks. Remember that post I did a while back about our Envelope System? Well, if not you can read it here. I normally keep all our envelopes in our kitchen in a box with all our bill related things. I'm pretty organized when it comes to bills and creating our budget and we have been on this system now for at least 10 or so months and have yet to accidentally loose any of our envelopes or misplace our money, until tonight. 

The box, the binder I use to organize our bills, our keys tray and our monkey that holds our laundry room key.

Nathan has a practice space for his music and normally we save the money from the middle of the month pay check and pay the bill at the beginning of the month, so the cash is usually sitting in the envelope for at least two weeks before we pay the bill. The envelope usually stays in the box and the last time I remember seeing it was the last time I did the budget around the 29th of March before I got paid. Well, today was the day Nathan was going to go pay the bill and all of a sudden the envelope isn't there and we both go into a frenzy trying to find it. 

After about 20 minutes of searching everywhere, its still not showing up. We've checked the cars, my purses, under the furniture, everywhere. The most bizarre part is that neither of us usually even take the envelope out of the box we have it in. I withdraw the cash, put it in the envelope and then leave it in the box until Nathan takes it out to pay the rent on the practice space. So the fact that its missing from the box is stumping the both of us. 

The most frustrating part is that I'm the one who does our budget so I feel responsible for the missing envelope. I work so hard to make sure we have everything covered, money saved and room for stuff like this that comes up so we can be responsible and financially stable adults. But I guess when you deal with nothing but cash, at some point some of it is going to go missing. 

Thank God for rainy day funds and having the ability to make things work. Its a good reminder to be more careful with where we keep our money and to keep saving for things that come up. Im just hoping one day Ill be cleaning the house and all of a sudden it will show up and we have an extra $100, cause that'd make my day!

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Perfect Jean?

I've always struggled trying to find pants that fit me well. This seems to be an ongoing struggle for me and I'm starting to think that no matter what weight I'm at, there isn't ever going to be the perfect pair of jeans that fit me like a glove. Until today....

Last week I got my Anthropologie catalog in the mail and fell in love with this adorable top.

 I of course knew I had to have it and I made it my mission to go to Anthro on my next pay check and add it to my wardrobe. Today I went downtown, found my cute shirt and picked up a couple other things to try on, one of them being a pair of black J Brand jeans I knew I couldn't afford but wanted to try on anyways. Big mistake.

I say big mistake, because I put these suckers on and instantly did a frustrated dance in my fitting room because I was angry that they were $175 and that I had to have them, some how. The material is a perfect combination of jean material with the soft stretch of Spandex. They aren't jeggins, but arent jeans either. I have a pair of pants currently that are kind of like this from Lucky Brand but they are two sizes too big on me and they never fit me as well as these ones do.

I've never been to a clothing store and liked everything I tried on and unfortunately that happened to me today. I love that feeling, but it was very frustrating at the same time, because honestly who has that much money to spend on clothes? Because I sure don't. 

Now I'm consumed with thoughts on what I have to do to get $175 so I can go buy those. Part of me doesn't care because I know Id wear the crap out of them, and then the frugal side of me is embarrassed at the idea of spending that much money on pants. Compared to some other things I have to spend money on, it doesn't seem that bad. 

What are some of your favorite jean/pant brands that you have found that you love? If they are expensive, do you think they are worth the buy? If they are inexpensive, do you compromise fit for budget?

I did also happen to pick up this shirt, but I'm not sure if I like how it fits me now that I don't have my amazing J Brand jeans on. :( 
Considering taking this one back to save up for my jeans. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Just a few quick things

1. I made some revisions to the blog design and hope you like the edit. What do you guys think?

2. Tomorrow we are headed down to Salem for Nathans Grandmothers 81st birthday. We are hoping to get her drunk on some Baileys and watch her eat lots of pie. I mean, I think that's what any 81 year old would love on their birthday, right?

3. Tonight I decided to wash our sheets and Nathan was too tired to get out of bed, so he just rolled around on the bed so I could get them off. This was him during his fake 5 year old tantrum. Love you babe.

4. I had a girls day today with my sister in law and another friend. While we were at Joanns fabric, I discovered chocolate covered Peeps. They were delicious!

5. Monday I should be getting my March Birchbox and I will do a post to share with you what I get inside!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Wishing winning the lottery was a real goal in life.

The last few months I've been feeling like there is a new chapter of my life starting, but it seems a little unclear what its going to be about. The previous chapters were a little clearer like graduating from High School, then graduating from college, then getting married. This last chapter that I feel like I'm currently coming out of is one of recovery. Over the last two years I've been healing from a very hard a traumatic experience and I finally I have the strength to move on. I used my traumatic experience to hide and be a hermit for a few years and now that I'm at the tail end of healing from it I have this tug on my heart to start over and be someone new. Something is changing inside of me but I'm not sure what it is. I feel myself searching for that thing. Nathan and I have been married for three and a half years now and for other couples that might be the time for them to start having kids, but not for us. I feel like I need to figure out that thing first, what I'm doing and where I'm going, what my niche is and how I can live off of it. 

Senior year of High School in 2004.

Presenting my Thesis the weekend of my college Graduation in 2008.

The day I married my best friend in 2009.

I went to school for Interior Design and for years I thought a career in the design industry was my thing. After that not panning out as I planned, I felt so lost. I questioned and still seem to question if that's what I want to keep working towards or if I need to go in a different direction. Then when I start thinking about what the next direction might be I feel like I'm looking into a big black hole of emptiness. I need something to shine a light, give me inspiration, hope, courage to face the darkness and take some steps of faith. 

So far I've come up with these possibilities:
 1. Find a job with a design firm which thus far has been impossible.
2. Do design work on my own, which also seems equally impossible.
3. Find a desk job that is mindless but pays well and push for creativity outside of work.
4. Figure out how to make money being crafty.
4 cont. Figure out how to make more money being crafty.
5. Figure out how to get Nathan to be rich so I can be a housewife.
6. Win the lottery.

So...I think you can understand why I feel frustrated and lost. Agreed? I mean, Id prefer to win the lottery over anything on that list but ultimately that wouldn't satisfy my desire to live through my passions. I don't think being rich can really qualify as a passion. Maybe for some, but then you'd be an annoying self centered rich person who probably screws over lots of people. Which is totally lame and I don't want to be lame. 

I think what is most frustrating for me is that I have skills, good ones, but yet I feel like I cant use them the way I want to because it takes other people to believe in my skills and give me a chance. I feel like sometimes my challenging road searching for design work is getting clouded by how hard its been and making it a less desirable career. Why would I want to keep trying for something that's continually turned me down? Its like a bad relationship that I keep going back to. That said, not everything in life comes easy. 

When something really challenges you in life I think it pushes you to look deeper and try harder which is just eventually going to get you to your real goal. That's exactly what I'm searching for, a real goal and something that is sustaining and fulfilling. When I say those words my mind becomes blank again, because I don't know what that is or how to find it. 

Thus far, I've concluded that I need to find my thing, being rich doesn't qualify as a passion, I don't want to be lame, challenging life experiences help you grow and I need to find a goal that is sustainable and fulfilling. And winning the lottery is probably not realistic. Darn...

So, here continues my quest. I'm searching and looking for that sign to lead my in the right direction or that little glimmer of light to show me the way in what seems like a mass of darkness. I think its times like these that really stretch us as people and we discover we are capable of a lot more than we thought. At least that's what I'm hoping for. :)

Also, please don't forget to vote for which Saw It, Pinned It, Tried It you want to see next on the blog. If you missed that, check out this post here and cast your vote on the poll on the upper left corner of the blog. 

Good night!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Vote on my next Saw It, Pinned It, Tried It

I haven't done a Saw It, Pinned It, Tried It post for a few weeks now and I thought Id get you all involved. Below are three options I've found on Pintrest and I want you to vote on which one you would most like to see me try out. At the bottom of the post is a poll of the options, please make your selection.
**Added to the top left of my blog**

Sharpie+Mug+350 Degrees

I've seen a couple pins talking about "how easy" this is but I've also read some reviews that it doesn't work as well as they say. Apparently this pin has all the secrets and I'm curious if its the tried and true way. 

Coloring Eggs with Shaving Cream

We are getting close to Easter time and one of my favorite Easter things was to decorate eggs. I think you could get really creative with the colors and swirls because of the cream. My only thought is, it looks quite messy.

Ice Cream in a Bag

This is the classic thing to do as a kid, but I can tell you I've honestly never done it before. I'm big on ice cream and I think it would be interesting to try and maybe get a good arm work out too?

Tub and Shower Magic

I think we all know Im a sucker for cleaning and trying these weird pins on cleaning. I think this could be a great product, or a terrible one just like my oven cleaning incident. Remember that one? If not, click here.

You have until Thursday at midnight to cast your vote and the winning Pin will be featured.

Monday, March 4, 2013

5 Products That I Love and You Will Too

In my post yesterday I mentioned I was going to do a post about some of my personal favorite products that I use. I was going to do a video, but I decided to do a good old fashioned post because I thought you'd get the best provision of information this way.

I really like trying new products, which is why I love the Birchbox so much, but I also have my products that I hands down love. Most of these are products that I stumbled upon myself  and have used for years.

Olay Wet Cleansing Cloths - Sensitive

I've used these cleansing cloths for at least a year and I really love them for those nights that I'm too lazy to break out the face wash. They are great makeup removers and unlike some of the other cloths I've used, they don't dry out your skin. There are some lightweight moisturizers and Vitamin E formulated into the cloth, but I usually splash my face with a little water after using so I can apply my normal face moisturizer. 

Aveda Pure Abundance Style Prep 

If you have fine hair stop everything you are doing this very second and go buy this product. I'm serious! I was informed of this product when I got my hair cut last December by a friend going to the Aveda hair school. I have very fine hair and I struggle with volume products because they can sometimes leave too much coarse texture in my hair which makes it hard to style. This product is one of the best volume products I have used thus far. Its a liquid spray verses a cream and you spray it all over your hair. I try to concentrate the spray around my roots. I then blow dry my hair and I not only have volume but its shiny and smooth as well. This volume is also an all day keeper. The volume I have after blow drying my hair is what Ill have until I wash it. If you have fine hair then you definitely need to try this one!

Mr. Pumice 

I discovered this product when I was in college, probably about 7 years ago. In those 7 years I've honestly only had to purchase a total of two of these because they last so long. I'm pretty anal about my feet and dry skin on my feet is one of the worst things in the world to me. I probably use this once a week in the shower and I just scrub my heels and it leaves them soft and smooth by removing any dry skin. If you suffer from dry heels this product will be a life changer. You can find it at a Sally's Beauty Supply or probably your local Walgreen's  Any other pumice stone is a waste of time and money and wont work nearly as good as Mr. Pumice.

MAC "Chilled On Ice" Painters Pot

I've had this Mac Painters Pot now for about two years and I have yet to even use half of it. This product is great for more of a nude look or if you don't want to wear a lot of makeup but want a little something on. It leaves a light shimmer on your eyes and you can wear it alone, or layer other eye shadows. It just adds a little more subtle sparkle and works as a great primer to hold your shadows in place. 

OPI Nail Polish

Left to right: Big Apple Red, My Chihuahua Bites, Hot & Spicy

If you are obsessed with nail polish like I am, you will probably favor OPI over most other nail polish brands out there. I think they have one of the best textures, most chip resistant, best wear and a great selection of colors. Above are a couple of my favorite colors. I'm not huge into sparkles or funky colors but they have a great range of warmer light to dark tones. I've found the best selection on colors at an ULTA beauty supply.

Those are some of my personal favorites. What are some of yours?

Finally done

I think I need to explain the verbiage I use to describe my house because its confusing to most, even us sometimes. We live in a one bedroom apartment that is set up like any other house but we decided to move things around a little. We moved our bed to the living room to give us more space and also because Nathan was falling asleep on our old futon every night watching TV. We turned what is technically our bedroom into a sitting/dining/sewing room so I could have a space to sprawl out and be creative without messing up the area we are in the most, and also so Nathan could stay up late watching TV but while in bed. When we moved our house around like this I didn't know what to call the bedroom or living room anymore, so it became the front room and the back room. The backroom was originally the bedroom and the front room was originally the living room. So this is what Ill be calling our spaces from now on. Get it?

1: Picture mural inspiration   2: Wall paint color; "Tinsmith" from Sherwin Williams   3: IKEA Strandmon Winback Chair 
4: IKEA wall mounted lights   5: Adjacent hallway paint; "Peppery" from Sherwin Williams   6: Crate & Barrel duvet cover   7: IKEA bed frame

This was my inspiration compilation for the room and I think once we get some pictures hung and add a few more accessories it will feel more complete. The lights I mounted today have probably been one of my favorite additions so far. They are from IKEA and were only $20 each. IKEA has seriously exceeded my expectations on price, style and ease of install. 

Today I finished painting the front room and it looks so awesome! The room is still coming together because we need something on the windows and need to hang pictures as well. We have one big wall that is completely blank right now and I'm thinking I will do a mural of pictures, big and small. We have a plethora of professional pictures we had taken for our engagement/wedding as well as pictures we had taken for our first anniversary. We seriously only have 3 pictures hanging out of probably 1000. I think that will be my next project, making my wall mural of pictures. Ill probably include some of Nathans Grandmothers art and pictures of us as kids as well. 

Right now I'm thinking we need to go to white sheets because I think the orange ones are a little much with the new paint. Anyone agree with me on that?

Tomorrow I'm going to do another video of a couple of my favorite beauty products. Keep an eye out on my Facebook page for the update or subscribe to my blog to get an email when I update. 

Good night!

Saturday, March 2, 2013


I am finally getting started on painting our bedroom and only two walls in and my arms and hands are already killing me. I kind of like the monotonous repetition and it allows me to just get lost in my thoughts and listen to music nice and LOUD! Im sure after I do the bathroom and our living room (thinking about the hallway to the bathroom also), I will probably not want to see a roller brush for a long time. I tend to be someone who gets bored with a space quickly so I move furniture around and paint is a fairly easy change to do but makes a big impact. Nathan is the opposite of me though. He hates painting and has yet to even pick up a paint can this round, which Im totally ok with. When we move out of this place though and we have to paint the walls back he better be prepared to help! Although Id totally be willing to strike a deal. If he moves all the furniture, then Id paint. ;)

Ive been working on prepping around the trim and last night I finally got into rolling. Ive so far only done two walls but Im loving it! The color I chose is called Tinsmith from Sherwin Williams, its a nice light cool toned grey. In our light its reading pretty blue but I didnt want a grey with any warmth in it. I think cool greys have this great calming/open feeling and I also just hate beige. Bleh. I also need to mention that good quality paint makes all the difference. I used Sherwins "Cashmere" paint which is supposed to spread very well and give you good coverage. Last time I painted I just used the bottom of the barrel paint because it was cheap, but that stuff was so thick and had terrible coverage. Im not working nearly as hard this time getting the paint to spread with the roller.

Previously we had this sage/grey/green in there and it just felt like the odd ball out once we got our furniture. This grey feels so fresh and bright and its made everything in the room pop. Im not sure if Ill have to do a second coat but I probably will just for safe measures. I dont want any of that green to come out.

This weekend we are hoping to mount our TV, hang some new bedside wall lamps and finish up the painting. Once we are done Ill post some pics!

Heres what everything looked like last night. Do you like it?

Our house is so messy right now that I just kinda dont care until its done. 

Stuff like this just kinda adds to the visual mess but its got to get done right!

Prepping around molding and corners can be a bitch but last time I painted I got paint all over the white trim and had to go back and touch everything up.

My painting socks. I looked to terrible to post the rest of my painting clothes. hah!

Evening light.

Morning light.

Happy Saturday everyone! Im off to my real job so I can afford to keep painting. :)

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

My fav healthy snacks

As I said yesterday I was going to write about some of my favorite healthy snacks that Ive really relied on to help me loose weight. I must shamelessly admit that when I sat down to start writing this I had my hand elbow deep in the potato chip bag. So I guess I need to listen to some of my own advice tonight. 

The biggest thing I usually look for in a snack is something that will provide me protein to satisfy my feelings of hunger. Not all of these have that but most of them do. Sometimes I am just simply looking for something to satisfy my munchies or my sweet tooth and the items on this list are also great for that as well.

Handful of Dry Roasted Almonds

Dry roasted almonds are packed with protein as well as healthy fats. I usually eat these as my breakfast mixed with some dried fruits to satisfy my sweet tooth. You would be amazed how a handful of almonds will hold back your feelings of hunger.

No Sugar Added Applesauce

My coworker makes fun of me for eating my applesauce cups because I guess that's what old people eat in the hospital to take their medicine with. I personally eat it because it satisfies my sweet tooth but the sugars from the apples can help give you a natural energy boost toward the end of your work day. Anything that prepackages the serving size as well is a great help to tracking points on Weight Watchers.

Apples and Peanut Butter

I love me some apples. Especially when you spread some yummy peanut butter on them! Just make sure to keep it around a Tablespoon cause that stuff adds up real fast. 

Fruit Cups in 100% Fruit Juice

Can you tell I have a sweet tooth yet? My body literally craves sugar more than anything else. Id say even more than water. So these fruit cups really help me to not only get my fruit intake, get a natural energy boost and stay low calorie with 100% fruit juice. Sometimes it can be really hard to avoid the ice cream and candy but these help a lot.

1 Cup of Low Fat Cottage Cheese

I dont think the low fat part is that important but the lower the calories the more I can have. :) Again its packed with a great amount of protein and you can even eat it with fruit or vegetables. I personally just like it with some salt and pepper. 

1/2 Cup of Greek Yogurt

Greek yogurt is great because its packed with a little more protein than regular yogurt. I don't know about you guys but if you've ever looked at the nutrition information on regular yogurt its almost as bad as eating a candy bar! So the "Greek" part of this is very important. Make sure you are only using the "original" or lightly sweetened flavors because they have less sugar added. Incorporating some fresh fruit into the yogurt will give you the natural sugars to sweeten it up. 

Handful of Jerky

This is one of my favorite snacks I think out of all of these. A handful is all you need! The jerky has great flavor, lots of protein and you can chew on one bite for a long time. I usually eat my jerky on my way home from the gym to fill my body with muscle building protein.

1 Cup of Popcorn

Now, don't get it mixed up when I say popcorn and translate that to "Movie theater popcorn with extra butter" because that's definitely not what I mean. I like to buy the Smart Pop snack size bags because they are the perfect snack size and I think are around 100 calories. There isn't honestly much nutritional value, but it satisfies the munchies. My favorite flavor is the Kettle Corn. Yum!

Hard Boiled Egg

I sometimes have a weird dislike for eggs, but I've found hard boiled eggs are great for breakfast. I usually cook up about 5-6 eggs to last me my work week and on my way to work Ill eat it in the car. If you want to make it a little healthier, just eat the egg white and not the yolk. 

3 WhoNu? Cookies

I know its Girl Scout cookie season, but READ YOUR LABELS!! Those Samoas are a whopping 150 calories for 2 cookies and there is less than 1g of protein and fiber. WhoNu? has 160 calories for 3 cookies, 2g of protein and 3g of fiber. Its absolutely a processed food, but I think the benefits outweigh the negatives. Nutritious and delicious! They have about 6 different kinds of cookies so look for them at the grocery store.

1/2 an Its-It (or any of your favorite treat)

Less is more! My point being, you can learn to feel satisfied with just a few bites. I know I've mentioned these on here before, but they are my absolute favorite sweet thing to eat, EVER! They have been a real diet killer, but I've discovered if I only eat a half at a time its honestly not that bad. You can do this with any of your favorite treats. You can find them at Safeway and New Seasons, and I'm sure Whole Foods has them as well if you want to give them a try. Watch out though, they are dangerous!

If anyone out there is trying to loose weight I hope these have been helpful. I usually rotate through these so I dont get bored with the selection of healthy options. What have you guys found to be a great healthy snack to keep you on track?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My personal weight loss story

There is no secret about the fact that I've lost going on 45 pounds since last January. Looking back it was so easy putting on all that weight and it was absolutely more of a challenge getting it to come off. I have no idea why its so much harder to loose weight than it is to gain, but I never really realized how much I had gained until I tried to get it off. I get a lot of questions from customers at my work who have seen me loose my weight. There seems to be a reoccurring question that I get more often than not, "How did you loose your weight?", as if its some secret that I'm keeping from the rest of the world. Like I discovered this weird diet like eating nothing but kale and skittles. Who knew? 

Honestly, I ate so badly for so long that I didn't know what a proper portion was. I remember eating to the point of immense discomfort because I was so full and then 20 minutes later I was still wanting to eat. I never really felt satisfied and I think it was because I was eating to numb pains inside of me and food was my medicine. I had gotten myself to 196 pounds and I was really struggling with that number. I think I wanted to be ok with it, but I knew deep down that I really didn't like myself, and Id never like myself if I was at this weight. Im jealous of girls who are proud of their plus size figures because Id love to be right there with them. I love food so much and I really liked having some womanly curves, but my problem with my weight was all mental. Why I gained and why I was using food to comfort myself. 

I finally hit my breaking point and Ill never forget it. I had made dinner for Nathan and I had gone all out with a big meal. I think it was some sort of baked chicken with mashed potatoes and vegetables. I piled my plate so full and I ate every single bite. I remember looking down at the plate and feeling so insanely full and completely angry with myself for eating all that food. I felt these feelings of being out of control. I couldnt choose to not eat. I needed to eat and to feel that feeling of full and to taste every delicious bite for as long as possible. I hated myself, my body, my inability to stop. 

The next morning I decided I was done. I was done feeling bad about myself and depressed and I needed to change. I got up and signed up at the gym and worked out. I went to the grocery store and bought all new food for the house. I signed up for Weight Watchers to try a new eating plan and I decided to take it day by day. Weight Watchers got it all started for me. They taught me how to eat again and showed me what a real portion looked like. I felt self control and allowed myself to feel hungry. Coming home from the gym feeling sore and sweaty was like a new high for me instead of feeling so full from eating.

I started at 196 pounds and I set my goal to 150. Currently I am weighing in around 153 which blows my mind. I remember setting my goal and thinking, "yeah right Carly, that's impossible", but it wasn't  Ten pounds seemed possible. 20 pounds seemed like a lot of work and 30 pounds seemed like I was never going to eat again. It was scary to face the fact that I could completely fail at loosing the weight and I think that is what kept me from starting for so long. I didn't want to work so hard and put so much effort into loosing weight and not see it come off. I think what my secret ingredient to my success was determination. I was determined to change, to feel better about myself, to be different. That cookie or candy or beer just wasn't worth the few seconds of pleasure like seeing the pounds coming off had. 

I started with Weight Watchers and I had great success with it, but I was honestly only using the program consistently for a few months until I got my routine down. If you follow the program like its meant to be followed you don't really track points after a while. I used it more as accountability. Knowing every Monday I was going to get on the scale to weigh myself and track my weight for the week online. About 6 months in a cancelled my subscription with them and just lived my new life.

I still have a huge fear of gaining my weight back. I'm scared that Ill slowly have less and less control and pound after pound will come back on. I feel like when you loose a significant amount of weight people are always waiting to see when you start putting it back on. Like its expected the weight you lost will be gained again eventually. I cant let that fear trap me into justifying using food as a dependency for my insecurity. I don't think my weight loss experience will ever come to an end because I'm sure it will be a battle I fight forever.

I really wish I had a full body picture of myself at my heaviest but I hated being in front of the camera at that point. I know there were some pictures taken of the at Christmas right before I lost weight but I think they got lost on my parents computer that crashed. I considered taking a "before" picture of myself the morning I had decided enough was enough, but the fear of failure inside of me won. I couldn't stand having a picture of myself wondering if it was just going to end up taunting me about the fact that I couldn't do it. 

I dont know where else to document these other than here. I wish I had done a better job of keeping track each week taking a picture of how my body was changing but like I said the fear of failure always held me back a little until I really started seeing real results. 

If anyone has any other pictures of me from October 2011 to January 2012 Ill gladly taken them as a great reminder of how far Ive come! Please send them to my email. 

Here we go!

 I think this was around October 2011, still had not hit my heaviest.

 My birthday January 2012, at my heaviest.

 February 2012. I had already lost about 10 pounds.

 April of 2012. I think I was around 20 pounds down here. 

May of 2012. Not sure how much I lost at this point.

August of 2012. 

August 2012. 35 pounds down.

September 2012

December 2012

December 2012

I haven't really lost much more since December, maybe just a few pounds. Id love to be down to 145, I think that would be my ideal weight, but right now I'm more focused on staying on track and getting more fit at the gym.

Share your success stories with me or let me know if you have any additional questions on what worked for me. I encourage anyone out there who desires to loose weight to really sit down and set a whole day aside to getting everything prepared to start your weight loss journey. It put my mind in the right place to close the door to weight gain and open the door to weight loss and not look back.

This week I'm going to share some of my favorite snacks that have helped me reign in my hunger between meals. Keep an eye out!